The Harshness of Life and Birthdays
by BlueJey
Summary: Life could be so nice in Konoha - if Sasuke hadn't forgotten /ignored a certain person's birthday. Of course, it wasn't his fault and of course, Naruto's reaction was just way over the top. Right? Oneshot; NaruSasu or SasuNaru - decide for yourself.


**The Harshness of Life** **and Birthdays**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I own it's characters. I make no money with this.

Author's Note: I... I... I have no idea what to say about this. I don't know where it came from, I don't know how it got here. I swear. Which leaves me with little to say. I mean, I could rant about how I would like you to notice that it has Kiba in it (*squeels*) and how I think that things like this happen all the time in Konoha (or how I thought about posting this on Naruto's actual birthday but then decided that there was no way in hell I was going to wait THAT long...), but why would you want to read that, right? So I think I'll just leave you in peace now. I hope you still like this. *waves*

* * *

"You're not really mad at him, right?" Sakura asked in an overly cheerful voice as she carefully placed a steaming cup of tea in front of him. "I mean, he apologized, didn't he?"

Sasuke refused to even look at her, so he chose to stare at the cup instead. It had a nice flower pattern on it and a part of him wondered whether he should comment on it, maybe praise her good taste – but another part warned him that she knew he hated flower patterns.

"He broke my nose," he replied as if it explained everything.

"Well, you deserved it." Sasuke shot her a glare – because she sounded like she actually _believed_ what she said. "You forgot his birthday!"

"I did not _forget_ his birthday. I chose to ignore it."

"...you know what? He should have broken more than just your nose."

"I was on a damn mission! Half a week away from here!!"

"What kind of a pathetically pitiful excuse is _that_!? You could have sent a message, for fuck's sake! We both know he would have been perfectly happy with a simple 'Don't choke on your cake' or something like that."

He glared at his cup hatefully. He didn't only hate flower patterns, he despised them.

"Now tell me again he punched you without reason and I might seriously injure you!"

* * *

"Man, it wasn't your fault, buddy!" Kiba stated in his version of a matter-of-fact voice. "He totally deserved it!"

"Sure he did, but now he's pissed..." Naruto replied gloomily, glaring down at his beer in frustration. Fighting with Sasuke in a non-physical way was hell, because fuck, that guy could hold a grudge for _forever_!

"Such a pussy... Seriously, I got no idea how you two _survive_!" The brunet shook his head, then stared at one of the many strange dark spots on the ceiling of the small pub.

"Sometimes, I don't know myself..." Naruto sighed, taking a sip of his drink.

Fighting with Sasuke was like trying to put out a fire by pouring oil into the flame – Sasuke was incredibly inventive when it came to interpreting every single sentence Naruto even _tried_ to say in a horribly, _horribly_ negative way. This was especially true for apologies.

"I mean, he forgot your birthday—"

"—Bastard says he chose to ignore it."

"I don't care what Bastard says, he forgot your birthday and now he's acting all bitchy 'cause you punched him on the nose? Seriously, what the fuck!?"

Right, it wasn't like he hadn't punched the fucker before. Then again...

"Well, I _did_ break it..." He winced at the thought. Sasuke had looked like he would explode.

"You fucking should have broken more than just his damn nose! His arm, for example."

Well, yeah, maybe he should have, but still...

* * *

"I should have broken your arm instead!!" Naruto yelled through the locked door of Sasuke's room, banging his fist against it to emphasize his point. "Or even better, your fucking neck!"

"You should have choked on your birthday cake, you moronic _imbecile_!" the raven yelled right back, the door jumping lightly when he kicked it.

"I should have _what_!?" Naruto asked incredulously, his voice spiking towards the end. "I didn't even get a fucking cake, you stupid, _stupid_ bastard!"

"Just go rot in hell!"

"Fine, I hope you'll miss me!" Naruto exploded, punching the door one last time – this time hard enough to actually break it in – then stormed off, ignoring Sasuke's indignant shout of, "You _asshole_!!!"

* * *

"You. Did. What!?" Sakura asked, plain disbelieve written clearly across her face.

"I _deserve_ it, dammit!" Naruto shot back stubbornly, now glaring down at his tea cup. He would have preferred beer. Or something stronger than that. Yes, something way stronger.

"Well, of course you do, but you can't expect _Sasuke_ of all people to just, you know, _accept_ it!?"

"He forgot my goddamn birthday–-"

"—Chose to ignore it, mind you..." Sakura interrupted dryly, taking a sip of her tea when Naruto looked up with a heated glare that she knew was not directed at her.

"—Fuck him!! I had the _right_ to break his nose!"

"And _that_, he might even acknowledge, but fuck... demanding make-up sex!? Are you _nuts_?"

"I wasn't demanding it, I was _offering_ it, goddammit!" Naruto exclaimed, slamming his fist down on the table.

"Still. You pretty much know he's a touchy bastard, don't you?" Sakura crooked a lopsided smile and Naruto heaved a heartfelt sigh.

"Oh yeah, I do..."

* * *

"He did what!?" Kakashi asked incredulously, staring at Sasuke like the boy had suddenly grown a second head. Or a third, maybe.

"Fucking heard me, Hatake..." the raven growled back, opening another one of Kakashi's cupboards on his search for the older man's sake supplies.

There was silence for all of three seconds before the infamous copy-nin toppled over, laughing so hard he had tears in his eye. Sasuke shot him a glare and slammed the cupboard shut.

"Oh great, so happy I was able to entertain you!" he snarled venomously, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Oh gawd, this is priceless..." Kakashi only forced out in between his laughs and pants. It took him almost another full minute to come back down from his sudden flash and even then, his visible eye was still sparkling dangerously mirthful.

"You have no idea how utterly amusing this is, Sasuke-kun," the jounin informed him and Sasuke felt the sudden need to strangle him.

"I don't see how he breaking my nose and then demanding _make-up sex_ is amusing in any way, I'm sorry," he muttered darkly, watching Kakashi as he strolled across the room and opened one of the drawers in the only cupboard Sasuke hadn't had the chance to check yet.

"There," he said, carelessly tossing Sasuke a bottle of something the young Uchiha couldn't really identify. There was no label on it, for some reason. "Now tell me you did at least give him the present you bought for him, please?"

Sasuke's face darkened even more, if that was even possible, before he stomped off into Kakashi's kitchen to help himself to a glass.

"Oh, priceless..."

* * *

"Oh my god, you're drunk," Naruto gaped, scandalized. "You seriously went and got drunk while I was fucking sitting here and _waiting_ for you to come home!"

"Fucking right, moron," Sasuke slurred, struggling to get rid of his sandals. "An' you know what? It's all fucking Kakashi's fault for even possessing something this disgustingly strong... I doubt that stuff is even legal around here, 'cause it sure as hell isn't in Suna."

"...sometimes, you amaze me. You can barely even stand, left alone take off your shoes, but you still know what kind of alcohol is allowed in _Suna_? I mean, when have _you_ been to Suna?"

"It's essential, idiot! 'Cause maybe I finally found a reason to sue the sorry bastard to hell..."

"You're a scary drunk, just so you know. Now would you _please_ finish with your damn shoes and come in?" He pointedly looked at Sasuke's feet where his hands were still fighting the damn sandals, then raked one hand through his hair, turning away and muttering, "Apologizing is going to be hard enough, I'm not going to do it in the hallway..."

This effectively stopped Sasuke's hands mid-task .

"You're going to apologize?"

"Yeah, bastard. Are you done? Why not!? Oh, for fuck's sake..." Swallowing another string of curses, he finally bent down, ridding Sasuke off his shoes in less than three seconds. "There. What are you, an idiot?"

"No, you—"

"It was a rhetorical question, y'know?"

"Oh." Sasuke blinked, then slowly got to his feet, swaying dangerously ever now and then.

Naruto merely shook his head, then left for the livingroom, making himself comfortable on the couch until Sasuke eventually arrived as well, still using the wall for support.

"You sure you weren't drugged?" Naruto asked, one eyebrow raised suspiciously.

"Why would Kakashi drug me?"

"...never mind. So, sit down. NO, not over there... Just... come here, okay?"

Sasuke blinked a few times, before shrugging and plopping down on the couch beside Naruto, turning to look at the blond expectantly.

"Uh, okay," he started, scratching his head, "I might be a tiny little bit sorry for breaking your nose. I mean, it was my birthday and all, but you had your mission, so it wasn't _completely _your fault... I shouldn't have punched you."

"Kakashi said you should have broken my arm... Or both."

"...I heard that quite often today. But anyways, I'm sorry for breaking your nose, and I'm also sorry for, well, earlier." He scratched his head again, grinning sheepishly.

"Naa, earlier wasn't really your fau— ." Sasuke replied, then suddenly stopped like he had just remembered something. Which kind of made Naruto lose hope, because while a drunken Sasuke was just adorably honest, a slowly sobering Sasuke had the tendency to very quickly return to his usual, _not-quite-honest_ self. And drunken Sasuke remembering something usually meant he was sobering up again...

"Wait." Sasuke blinked, looking like it was incredibly difficult to just follow his current trail of thoughts through to the end. Well, maybe he wasn't sobering yet.

"Yes?" There was still hope.

"Is your offer still standing?" Sasuke asked, sounding almost curious.

"Uh, what are you talking about?"

"Your offer. Make-up sex." Now it was Naruto's turn to blink, wondering if there was something wrong with his ears, because Sasuke couldn't possibly have offered to... No, he couldn't have.

"Could you repeat that...?"

"Make-up sex," Sasuke repeated immediately, shifting his position until he was kneeling on the couch, looking at Naruto as if he was just waiting for the blond to jump him. "Let's fuck!"

"Why the hell would you have sex with me _now_, but tried to kill me for even _mentioning_ it five hours ago!?" Naruto demanded, pointing his finger at Sasuke accusingly. Then he frowned. "Wait, forget it."

"Why?"

'Cause there's always the chance that remembering your shitty reasons will make you go all mad on me _again_...' Naruto thought sarcastically, perfectly aware of the fact that it was not the right thing to say right now. Not even if Sasuke was drunk would he let something like that just slip...

Nodding to himself, he decided that he was to lazy to think of something else to say. Besides, they had wasted enough time talking already.

"Let's fuck."

* * *

"Okay. This is strange," Sakura dead-panned, warily staring at a fuming Sasuke standing in front of her door. "Why are you here? I thought Naruto apologized! Aren't you supposed to still be in bed and go at it like rabbits!? It's fucking five in the morning, why are you even awake!?"

Sasuke only glared, then thrust his hands into his pant pockets and pushed past her, stomping into the livingroom without a single word. When Sakura followed him, she found him on lying on the couch, with his back turned to her.

Shrugging, she figured that she could live with him pretending to sleep there for a few more hours.

* * *

"He fell asleep on you during sex!?" Kiba burst out, lips pulling into a head-splitting grin. "Man, you sure are unlucky these days..."

Naruto only glared, then pushed past him, stomping into the Inuzuka's livingroom and claiming the couch, all the while pretending he hadn't noticed Kiba had collapsed laughing by the front door .

He was going to _kill _Sasuke one day. Maybe on his _frickin_' birthday. The bastard was just _BEGGING _for it!!!


End file.
